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I seek out advice from those about handling middle-aged struggles, for example deep inner questions, diminishing importance, growing a neck akin to a surrealist painting plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Most recently, I discovered his remarks about hitting fifty in an interview: “I think if you’re going to have a good go at the second half of your life, you have to edit away all the noise,” he said. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

Initially, I wondered: doesn’t this conflict regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). I’ll accept “downbeat cashmere throw”, at a pinch.

It’s possible you’re also a member. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.