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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – For Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {