Evening Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

TV's prominent comedians used their evening mocking ex-President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration program, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant pay-to-play scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Witty Take

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday tune about the president. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys all he handles."

The focus was the new plan that allows overseas citizens to acquire U.S. residency for an investment of one million dollars, with a "premium" version for 5 million. An official page pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick thought for you to rich immigrants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the card is also intended to "squeeze cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, with significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The best vetting the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow rich foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one significant crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining poll ratings amid economic anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, and reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting conservative news defenses of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.